


I'll pick you up but not your nose

by velvetcat09



Category: Gintama
Genre: M/M, Silver Soul Arc, i dont know what else to tag with this, if you can call this a love confession lmao, pining hijikata
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:41:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26192083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velvetcat09/pseuds/velvetcat09
Summary: “Being a country policeman sure makes you more lax, huh?” Hijikata abruptly straightens up to face the man who decides to interrupt his alone time.----Aftermath of  Silver Soul arc, after lesson 674 where Hijikata encounters Gintoki after 2 years of searching him.
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki
Comments: 6
Kudos: 94





	I'll pick you up but not your nose

**Author's Note:**

> this idea came to me in the shower and i needed to get it out before it disappears from my head

Hijikata lies on the grass near the riverbank with head pillowed by his arms, his eyes closed at the smothering blue sky. An unlit cigarette hangs on his mouth, it’s been there since he sat here about twenty minutes ago, Hijikata couldn’t be bothered with lighting it up. He did try to quit smoking after all, though not having something on his mouth irks him so much that he ended up surrendering to his old habit. It’s fine if it’s unlit, so he tells himself.

Gintoki left. The part of him that still believes in his connection with the Yorozuya thinks that the silver permhead is heading for Edo. But that part has been neglected for years now, abandoned. The other part, the cynical police side of him, knows that Gintoki is still after Takasugi. That one Hijikata can do jack shit about it, that whole conversation was proof enough.

The man didn’t change. That was Sakata Gintoki, alright. It’s just that it wasn’t the Sakata Gintoki that Hijikata knew, not the guy that he bonded in Edo all those years ago.

Hah.

Years ago, as if it has been that long ago to deserve that kind of idiom.

Hijikata gazes at that clear sky above him. That stupid permhead bastard had looked so distant, just like the vast space on top of Earth. Far away. Empty, yet full of secret. Maybe empty because he doesn’t know what fills it.

“Being a country policeman sure makes you more lax, huh?” Hijikata abruptly straightens up to face the man who decides to interrupt his alone time. Gintoki gives him a side smirk, sitting next to him on the grass. Of course, nobody else could be like this guy. Even after two years and turning into a complete stranger, that unpredictable side of him is still so familiar to Hijikata. It makes his chest aches.

“You’re still here.”

“Not for long. Just going to kill some time ‘til I feel like moving again.” Hijikata studies the man who is peering over the river with expression that speaks of nothing. That perfect guarded look, this is unlike the one that Hijikata had come to decipher back in Edo, this one is completely unreadable to him.

So far away now, huh.

Hijikata huffs to himself, looking at the same river as Gintoki. The corner of his lips tugged into a smile. He can’t help it, his own face doesn’t want to stop smiling, it’s the only visible leak from his overflowing chest.

“Why are you here?” Gintoki breaks the small silent.

Hijikata weighs his answer, considers some words, then speaks. “I got tired of waiting.”

Two years ago, maybe even closer to three, Hijikata doesn’t exactly keep counts of the date, it’s not like it matters, clearly it doesn’t with Gintoki. Couple years ago, Hijikata got overconfident and told the man to wait for him. Looking back now, that was really embarrassing of him. To think that Gintoki is the kind of man that would sit still and wait for his return like that. Thinking that the man didn’t have anything else to do, like the universe itself didn’t revolve around this particular man sitting beside him. Hijikata was too eager with their new bond that he thought Gintoki would wait for him. In the end it wasn’t exactly about waiting. If anything, Hijikata was doing the waiting, returning to Edo before Gintoki returned to Earth. What was it like, up there in space?

Hijikata had noticed it during the war, the side of Sakata Gintoki that he didn’t know. The crack of the man’s former self. That gap, exacerbated by the two years that he disappeared after disbanding the Yorozuya. Two years chasing and that finally bears fruit, that’s why Hijikata couldn’t stop himself from smiling, despite everything.

Even if that unchanging silver now has a hardened edge, every bit of sameness in that stupid’s face are all unrecognizable to him. Hijikata still holds the same loyalty he promised on that day. He has not forgotten anything. He remembers them all.

“Gintoki,” Said man glances at Hijikata who calls his proper name. Calling him Yorozuya feels wrong.

“No matter how many times you drop that stupid sword of yours. I’ll be there to pick it up.” Hijikata looks up at that unwavering blue sky. “Again, and again. I’ll have your back.” Hijikata smiles at that sky. “Even if you change, even if you had forgotten it. I won’t forget.”

Two years of not seeing the bastard’s face. Three years of a promise and realization. Four years of respect. Five years of bantering. Six years of stupidity. Seven years of acquaintanceship. One year of being in love.

Hijikata understands his orbital position in this solar system during his time chasing over the disappearing Yorozuya boss. He gets the clear picture now, accepts that this is as far as he can get, as close as he can get to the Sun itself. He had thought of the irony, the karmic poetry of how his first love that he threw away, and the love current love that he couldn’t get. Maybe the last one. If this is how he’ll love, then he doesn’t want to love another ghost. Two times are already too much.

Hijikata isn’t letting this one go, but his heart still deserves a conclusion.

He hears rustling from his side. Hijikata doesn’t need to look to know that the time is up. He’ll meet Gintoki again, maybe, maybe not, he doesn’t know.

A hand rests on top of his head. From the weight and the way it balances on his jet-black strands, seems hesitant to move, to ruffle. It disappears before Hijikata could respond. The man also disappears from his back, from his sight. But Hijikata had felt the pause, that wanting to linger.

He’s gone leaving behind nothing. But Hijikata still promises him all the same. He’ll pick that guy’s sword if he drops it, he’ll boost him up if he ever needs to jump to reach the sky, he’ll return him to his kids that are waiting in Edo, he’ll be there to protect Edo in his absence, protect all that man believes. Because love, it's not an emotion, _love is a promise._


End file.
